If you're in an emotionally abusive marriage, and your spouse is bullying you, don't let the treatment continue. Bullying is a way for your spouse to control you and they will continue the practice until you get help. They may even escalate the behavior to a point where your safety is at risk. If you've decided to file for divorce, here are four steps you should take right away.
Devise a Safety Plan
If you're going to be filing for divorce, now's the time to devise a safety plan. Before you file for divorce, you need to know exactly what you'll do, including where you'll live and how you'll support yourself. You'll also need to know how to keep yourself and your kids safe – if you have kids.
Hire an Attorney
If your spouse is emotionally abusive, you need to hire an attorney before you file for divorce. This is not the time for you to try and represent yourself during the divorce. Your spouse may hire an attorney to try and intimidate you into staying, or to prevent you from getting custody of your minor children. You'll need an attorney to make sure you and your kids are protected against such intimidation tactics. Not only that but your attorney can arrange mediation so that you don't need to be in a room alone with your spouse.
Sit Down With a Counselor
If you're in an emotionally abusive marriage, sit down with a counselor. You may not think they can help, but they'll be beneficial to your emotional well-being while you're going through your divorce. They'll also be able to provide you with information on where to get help and how to keep yourself safe, should your spouse become physically abusive once you try to leave. In addition, talking to a counselor will provide proof that you sought help for the abuse.
Keep a Detailed Journal
If your spouse is emotionally abusive, it's time to start keeping a detailed journal. A journal is useful when you're trying to identify specific episodes of abuse. Each time your spouse is emotionally abusive, write down key elements of the encounter, including where it occurred, what your spouse said or did, and what you were feeling at the moment.
If you spouse is emotionally abusive, you need to get help. Use the tips provided here to help you through your divorce. If your spouse becomes physically abusive, get out right away. Contact a firm, like Nichols, Speidel, & Nichols, for more help.
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